Some timely shit…


    Jasper Johns, Map (1961)

In lieu of writing a piece that touches on all the crazy shit that’s been goin’ on I thought I’d just aggregate some old shit that was pertinent. So just click that link for a few bits (of varying length) about the zeitgeist an’ our condition an’ shit. If you don’t have the time and/or patience to slog through all that just peep this.

“Shut the hell up already!”


Activists are fucking annoying. All they do is whine and whine until they get what they want. Just a’buncha perpetual nuisances. But damn it, they get results; after enough impassioned rhetoric, marches, boycotts, sit-ins, destruction of property (and memes) institutions (both corporate and political) become fatigued and begrudging policy change results. Even private individuals can be swayed by this (at times white noise-esque) persistence: they can be ‘annoyed’ into Tolerance™ and/or Political Correctness™, but here’s the thing: all the stuff that fuels our prejudiced mindsets doesn’t just magically disappear post-annoyed-into-acquiescence; it lies dormant, resurfaces after the tension of suppression becomes too much to bear. That’s why we’re sat here—in this time of hoverboards and flying cars—shrugging our shoulders, wondering why we haven’t reached the proverbial mountaintop yet. Thing is: Every last one of us are chock-full of suppressed fears that have the potential to manifest themselves as all sorts of all sorts of self-destructive absurdity.
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Check out this and this; two aural DeLoreans created by pretend time travelers. Oh, and this too.

Tricky Relativity

Whenever you wanna pretend like you’re a time traveler from the early 80s play this through some headphones while walking around a hyper modern city. Like one with a high volume of sharply-detailed moving images advertising an assortment of different life enhancements featuring meticulously coiffured beings that look very little like the creatures walking about you; the ones who are either contemplating the light that magically emanates from their palms or talking animatedly into the air as if they’re exalting personal gods.

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Future Prophets

Got this sneaking suspicion that the cats forecasting a global-warming influenced major climate event are gonna be considered the Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John of the distant future, as in their reports (which will include language and expressions that seem obscure and almost poetic to our descendants) will become—after years of cumbersome and incredibly presumptuous translations—like religious texts…

“Apparently it was an abundance of a noxious substance that emanated from some sort of verdant edifice that brought about their demise. We must devote considerable funding and resources to finding this structure if we wish to avoid suffering the same miserable fate as our ancestors!”

Discounted Souls

A lot of our criticism of others seems to lowest common denominate to:

We’re so afraid of being exposed as frauds that we will readily exchange our souls for a ‘perverted’ peace of mind. ‘Perverted’ in the sense that we only experience this peace when we’re comparing and contrasting ourselves against the people we think are relatively ‘more’ wicked than us (this is the ‘soul exchange’ in action), usually in the agreeable company of those who are on the same ‘soul plan’ as us1.
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    Thomas Couture, Romans in the Decadence of the Empire (1847)

Whenever a well-known person passes a few likely characters rush to the social media forefront to offer commentary: There’ll be longtime admirers offering condolences; heartfelt paeans that reduce to: “I didn’t know the deceased personally, but their work provided a welcomed respite from the mundane, beat-to-predictable-beat of existence and/or is inextricably linked to some profound moments in my life. For that I am eternally thankful.” Responding to them will be the ‘contrarians’ sharing stories about the well-known person’s living indiscretions, or sarcastically asking: “Where were all these tears when [BLANK] died or [BLANK] happened?,” or referring to the condolence-offerers as ‘sheep’ or ‘stupid’ for grieving for someone they didn’t ‘really’ know. (They may also cumbersomely shoehorn their agendas into these rebukes.) And lastly, there’ll be a contingent of coldly detached folks offering annoyingly professorial, above-it-all, highly presumptuous opinions about all involved.

The rub: The fact that the well-known person is the beacon that brings all these diverse peoples together is a profound testament to the luminary’s broad cultural appeal. Each one of these people—no matter the positive or negative ‘natures’ of their expressions—are ‘equally’ mystified participants in an orgy of public ‘reaction’ to a ‘singular’ event.

More Time

Everything that we are is everything that we were and everything that we will be is everything that we are which means time is fulla shit. We ain’t got nothin’ but the moment. ‘Right now’ is the realest shit there is.

Tricky Relativity

Time is like a service bot that has been programmed to do an intensely nano-focused, super-meticulous task over-and-over-again. That task: measuring the distance between objects in space and the relative rates at which those objects change. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years are all measurements of RELATIVE distance. There is also a ‘distance’ between one thing transforming into another thing (read: those ‘relative rates of change’), but here’s the rub on all of this: rates of change aren’t REALLY relative. Yes, it may seem like it takes longer for a mountain to evolve into form than a flower to grow, but at what ‘point’ does the FIRST change occur? When does a thing say “Time to become another thing now” and then START to become another thing? Also, WHERE do these changes occur? They seem to happen right out in the open: a boy becomes a man…

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