Naturally Artificial


I’ve always taken issue with the idea that we ‘play’ God, as well as the the belief that our creations are ‘artificial’ or ‘unnatural.’ Everything we create is composed of elements found within our universe. Yes, some of the substances may be synthesized elements, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that, like us, they are NATURALLY occurring. Also, all this ‘stuff’ evolves through our natural-ass hands and are products of our natural-ass minds which are driven by natural-ass genetic predispositions. In this way cities, high-tech gadgetry and everything else we create are no different than anthills or termite colonies. What may set us apart however, is our hyper meticulous and obsessive method of creation. It’s hard for us to divorce ourselves from our perception as a superior species to see this though; to understand just how ‘naked’ we are in the universe. We are just so damn full ourselves. But what if we can’t help it? What if due to the fact that WE are all we know we, in a sense, ‘have no choice’ but to perceive other species, our world and the broader universe as it RELATES to US. Even basic concepts: A mountain is ‘large’ because it is ‘bigger’ than US, an ant is ‘little’ because it is ‘smaller’ than US. Interestingly, it is this ‘basic’ concept that dictates how we FEEL about every goddman (relative) thing around us. From the examples mentioned to the infinite vagaries of the universe. Doesn’t matter the matter we start with 1.


Every time I watch Ancient Aliens I find myself pondering two things: does one have to go to school to become an ancient astronaut theorist and what the hell is up with ancient peoples and moving big-ass rocks around? Was it a way for them to stunt through the centuries like, “No matter how ‘advanced’ y’all get, you’ll never figure out how we moved big-ass rocks ridiculously long distances from their sources of origin and then with laser-like precision cut them bitches into all sorts of symmetrical shapes.”


Some timely shit…


    Jasper Johns, Map (1961)

In lieu of writing a piece that touches on all the crazy shit that’s been goin’ on I thought I’d just aggregate some old shit that was pertinent. So just click that link for a few bits (of varying length) about the zeitgeist an’ our condition an’ shit. If you don’t have the time and/or patience to slog through all that just peep this.

“Shut the hell up already!”


Activists are fucking annoying. All they do is whine and whine until they get what they want. Just a’buncha perpetual nuisances. But damn it, they get results; after enough impassioned rhetoric, marches, boycotts, sit-ins, destruction of property (and memes) institutions (both corporate and political) become fatigued and begrudging policy change results. Even private individuals can be swayed by this (at times white noise-esque) persistence: they can be ‘annoyed’ into Tolerance™ and/or Political Correctness™, but here’s the thing: all the stuff that fuels our prejudiced mindsets doesn’t just magically disappear post-annoyed-into-acquiescence; it lies dormant, resurfaces after the tension of suppression becomes too much to bear. That’s why we’re sat here—in this time of hoverboards and flying cars—shrugging our shoulders, wondering why we haven’t reached the proverbial mountaintop yet. Thing is: Every last one of us are chock-full of suppressed fears that have the potential to manifest themselves as all sorts of all sorts of self-destructive absurdity.
Continue reading ‘“Shut the hell up already!”’

Check out this and this; two aural DeLoreans created by pretend time travelers. Oh, and this too.

Tricky Relativity

Whenever you wanna pretend like you’re a time traveler from the early 80s play this through some headphones while walking around a hyper modern city. Like one with a high volume of sharply-detailed moving images advertising an assortment of different life enhancements featuring meticulously coiffured beings that look very little like the creatures walking about you; the ones who are either contemplating the light that magically emanates from their palms or talking animatedly into the air as if they’re exalting personal gods.

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Future Prophets

Got this sneaking suspicion that the cats forecasting a global-warming influenced major climate event are gonna be considered the Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John of the distant future, as in their reports (which will include language and expressions that seem obscure and almost poetic to our descendants) will become—after years of cumbersome and incredibly presumptuous translations—like religious texts…

“Apparently it was an abundance of a noxious substance that emanated from some sort of verdant edifice that brought about their demise. We must devote considerable funding and resources to finding this structure if we wish to avoid suffering the same miserable fate as our ancestors!”


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