Looking for an easy way to wrap your head around these seemingly complex ideas? Come inside and I’ll give you the rundown.

The type of person who flourishes in a capitalist society is one who starts a business and persuades others to perform the more laborious tasks of said business for meager pay while he collects absurd amounts. He must also exploit others for the talents he does not possess. He will pay them a tad more than the laborers as they are more “valuable” due to their relative rarity. This same person must also persuade those who are not employed by him for they are the ones who will buy the goods his business manufactures. There business owner exploits the notion that the consuming public are too stupid and too lazy to provide these goods for themselves. As a result, they will happily pay the business owner to avoid doing any arduous work. But here’s the catch—they still do—because the consumers are also employees of other companies where they have been persuaded as well. Now of course, like everything, employment is relative. Those with “better” jobs can afford “better” services. Those with “lesser” jobs are saddled with “lesser” services. And this all stems from fear. Someone who is persuasive must nurture your inherent fear first before they can in essence “rescue” you from it with what they have to offer. This is why sales tactics always play up some profound sense of urgency.

“You better get this car now sir! I’m throwing in a CD player, cup-holders, I just cut four-hundred off the asking price! You better seize this opportunity sir! Don’t think you’ll find another like it!”

It’s the “limited time” scare.

“You better take advantage because this offer is here today, but it’s gonna be gone tomorrow!”

This is behind every successful sales pitch out there.

The socialist screams, “Hey, we all have special abilities and if we work together we can attain universal wealth!” Your free-spirits are typically drawn to this one. They don’t want to toil away in some rich man’s factory making trinkets to be conspicuously consumed by over-exposed, overweight, unenlightened slobs. They want to create art in a society that appreciates art. They want to grow their own crops, eat organic, eschew meat, develop new ways of understanding, get in tune with themselves and nature because dude, it’s all one man! Hold on. Am I showing my true colors? I’m actually not ashamed to admit it, a lot of this appeals to me. I’m your token aspiring filmmaker/artist/musician/whatever and I would love to live in a place like this. You know what? I can. And if you aspire to be a capitalist, you can too because of relative diversity. Of course socialism doesn’t have to fit a Bohemian ideal (and I was being facetious about the over-exposed slobs, hell, I’m one of them), it can be cold and calculating as it was during the reign of the U.S.S.R. When that happens we call it Communism and boy are we afraid of that.

The capitalist believes he must be like the sun, a dense, stationary bio-luminescent mass of radiant energy that other bodies orbit dutifully. If something were to happen to the sun, it all comes crashing down. The socialist believes that like the cosmos our density is relative and since we are so diverse and so numerous if we put all of our density together we can do greater things than the capitalist. We can achieve Heaven on Earth.

Not so fast.

Let’s say Connecticut gave this a try. Say next week, just like that, Connecticut is a socialist state. Let’s say they start kicking ass. They got universal healthcare, equal education, and a bounty of healthy food all going. Outside states get jealous. Some of their residents begin to pour into Connecticut out of fear.

Fear? But wait, aren’t they running towards love?

Not really. They are fearful that they cannot do the same things in their own communities so they must “invade” another. Pretty soon, little Connecticut cannot take the burden of caring for so many. Because its population is booming its infrastructures would have to expand. This leads to pollution which affects the quality of life and because of the overcrowding there will definitely be a crime problem. One that jumps to astronomic levels during the warmer months. All that density working together attracted other “stars” from surrounding areas and thus created a new star so dense that it is about to explode. We see this happen when a state is lenient with its social programs and we have seen it famously happen when the Soviet Union disbanded. If the surrounding states do not follow suit the socialist idea does not work because there is no space for it to expand to.

Capitalism fails in a similar fashion. Let’s say I want to get into the kazoo business. I don’t have much money so I go to the bank for a loan. They check my credit history because, well they have to be (fearful) cautious. Once that checks out they lay some bread on me. But there’s a catch. They add this little (fearful) caveat called interest. I get the “opportunity” to pay for the loan over time as long as I pay a fee for this “opportunity.” The more time I take the larger my fee. Now after I go out and kick a little bit of ass in the kazoo business I come back to the bank with the money I borrowed and that little interest bit. It seems we both made out. My company is now established and the bank’s got all their money back and then some.

But wait.

There’s more money to be made here so the bank tells me to keep their money. Matter of fact, they are even nice enough to hold it for me. Things are going great! I’m living it up with all of this money I’m making. I go grab myself a mansion, a few cars, a yacht, a supermodel. My kazoo business is growing fast. I am forced to take on more employees. Private investors get wind of my success and become “satellite banks” throwing money my way hoping I’ll do for them what I did for the bank. Soon, my kazoo business is a huge multi-national corporation and I’m at the top of this pyramid with a few trusted board members right below and if we go all the way down to the dense base that’s where you find the lowly hourly workers. The poor saps who work in the retail stores and the manufacturing plants. They have minimal skills and I pay them pennies. The quality of their work is sporadic, but I don’t mind because they are expendable. There’s always someone out there looking for a job. I only take care of those right below me. They are the one who possess the real talent. I need them. Without them I fall.

Hold on. What’s this?

Part of the base is getting a little unruly. It’s the plant workers, they are demanding more money—threatening to strike. They’re even looking to their local and federal governments for leverage. What do I do? I turn to the board. They advise me to lay them all off. We’ll manufacture the kazoos in another country where we can pay them a wage relative to their native economy, but one that is much less than the one we paid “back home.” We gradually shut down plants stateside and open up new ones abroad. Problem solved.

Not so fast.

The laid-off employees turn to other companies for employment. If the economy is good then they will be absorbed fast, if it is bad then there will be a recession. Here’s the ironic bit—the only reason there is a recession is because the other companies did the same exact thing as my kazoo company. Because of relative greed there are now only a few employed people to buy our products. Greed is the result of fear. People who fear losing something will do everything in their power to either hold on tight to the something or hoard it so that when they lose a bit they are still left with an ample supply. Since there are just a few people left with the means to buy my kazoos we start laying off some of the relatively rare people (the ones just below the board) in an effort to create a golden parachute for myself and the board who are assisting with this hatchet job. Not before long only a select few are left and we float down from atop the crumbling pyramid on our golden parachutes to a sea of discontent. If we did anything illegal you are ready to throw us in prison. If we just got over—well, we take our nest eggs and go hide somewhere far away from the vengeful masses. On a rare occasion we will pop on your TVs or jump on the internet to hear you gripe, but it’s no sweat off our back. We take solace in the fact that after you unleash your verbal tirade about our greedy no-good company you’re just going to turn around and knock on the next guy’s door to ask, “Hey, are you guys hiring?”

Now are these the guys we need to bail-out?

Our world will always be one of conflict because of relative diversity. One group, who considers themselves to be the most powerful because many others fear them will fight against other groups whose ideas seem contrary to their own. This is something we love to do. We can’t help it because it’s relative diversity and the universe thrives off of it. Now do not think that the capitalist detail was a shot at the States. In the U.S. (just like everywhere else) you will find this same conflict. This is a nation of “groups” who all think they are right. We possess elements of capitalism and we possess elements of socialism.

Check out Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and you’ll see what I’m talking about or What Time Is It There. That one really puts relativity on its ass.

We reward our most persuasive with love and money. These are your athletes, actors and recording artists. We reward them so heavily, because unlike the salesman, we welcome their persuasion. Think about it, how do we justify a baseball player making a hundred million dollars over a few years to play the sport he loves to play. If he likes doing it so much shouldn’t he do it for free? Why? A capitalist already figured out that you will pay to watch the baseball player play the sport he loves to play. The capitalist has also determined that these players or entertainers are the best sales pitches out there. You love them because they are capable of doing things you can only dream of. These are the relatively rare of the relatively rare. The capitalist exploits this, that is why he is always searching for “rarer” entertainers. This is why Nike threw gobs of dough at LeBron James before he even set foot on a professional basketball court. They had to get to him before someone else did. They knew he was a relatively rare entertainer. An entertainer so “dense” you will spend your hard-earned money to purchase whatever he endorses. His shoes cost $200, no worries, the price encourages exclusivity because the talent is exclusive. This is how you subconsciously justify these purchases. It’s why when Oprah tells you to buy something you buy it. Celebrities are some of the “densest” stars out there (no pun intended). They fulfill our need to worship something we perceive to be superior to us. But our love is fickle. For decades we will shower them with love and money, but if they do something we find objectionable we are quick to take it all away. This is us exerting our power. Why do we only do this when we are afraid? If you flip on MTV and see “Pop Singer X” giving you a tour through their garage that is bigger than your entire apartment building maybe you will think twice before plopping down whatever inflated fee they charge for their records. If you like their music, why not just download it for free? They don’t need “another” Rolls or Bentley, but you need some “more” music. Just think about that for a bit.


No matter how big or tall a tree gets, it still possesses a glaring vulnerability—one we’re more than happy to exploit—and that is that it can be cut down relatively easily at its base. They may grow tall and we may like looking at them but we also need to construct things and their lumber is just too attractive so we’re quick to chop them down. Now get this, fruit trees are relatively tiny in comparison and we leave them alone because they provide food and the food contains seeds to create more trees. The larger trees drop pine cones and nuts to in order to reproduce. In the case of the nut or acorn the tree relies on those who feed on them to disperse them. Animals like squirrels store large amounts in caches that they keep in various locations. Now since they store so many and they are spread all over they may not be able to consume them all. As a result new trees sprout. Now here’s the big question: is the squirrel theoretically planting these seeds for future generations or is he merely a greedy hoarder? Either way nature finds a way

The fruit tree is remarkable because it contains programs to create more fruit within the fruit itself. Several programs actually. So in essence fruit is meant to be consumed because consumption is the fastest method of seed dispersal. Human beings usually remove the seeds and plant them whereas other animals consume them and disperse them in other ways.

These two trees peacefully coexist in nature. Why can’t our two big isms do the same?


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