God’s Nature

Seems like we live to impress others, but who are these others? Well, to name a few—they are coworkers, friends, relatives, employers, casting agents, but there’s one, I mean One, we kill ourselves trying to impress and that is our Creator. It’s as if every moment of our existence is nothing but a way of saying: “Hey God, look, no hands. Are you impressed? Am I doing right by you now? Can you give me some confirmation? I feel so alone!”

And after each moment we wait…

As we wait we start to get complacent. Nothing’s happening so we start actin’ up a little. Speedin’ through residential areas after happy hour. Broad day light. Tags expired. Then…

BOOM! The Big Bad Thing happens. Oh no.

“I don’t really understand what just happened. I just KNOW things are different right now. Really different.”

Looks like we must have been doing something wrong. Time to put it all on the table. All of our secrets. We’re so sorry. We’re so sorry. We’re so—and on and on until the thing that happens next happens next…

Wow! Look! Things are starting to feel like they did before The Big Bad Thing happened, but we can’t get complacent. Can’t forget about the possibility of another Big Bad Thing. If we get complacent we run the risk of it happening again. Let’s honor it somehow so we don’t forget. We’ll have a ceremony every year. Yeah, that’ll work. Okay, now it’s time to avoid complacency. All right, let’s go…

Not too fast. As we move away from the crippling negative effect of The Big Bad Thing we start to realize what we enjoy more than the release from pain and suffering and that is freedom. But why is this a revelation? Weren’t we born free? Not really…

It seems the way we perceive freedom is based on a relative contrast to fear. We have to shake this fear to experience freedom and we play this absurd game over and over again within our individual lifetimes. The Creator texts us an SMH every time we go through this madness. Kind of passive aggressive when you take into consideration the fact that our births seem like our Creator’s way of screaming:

“YOU WERE BORN FREE! DO YOU HEAR ME!? I SAID YOU WERE BORN FREE!!! YOU KNEW NOTHING! NOTHING BUT WHO TO TURN TO FOR COMFORT AND NOURISHMENT AND WHERE DID YOU FIND THEM? THEY WERE RIGHT THERE JUST AS I AM RIGHT HERE!”

Is it our nature to fear this life game as soon as we become aware of it? Our parents get the ball rolling by warning us of all the things in the world that can harm us and then there are the countless life experiences like touching hot irons and mosquito bites. And we can’t forget the influence of other people, those other people whose families, communities and life experiences molded their fears as well…and of course, when we come into contact with them they help to shape our fears. But where does this fear come from? We live our lives and based on our experiences we either warn or promote. Don’t do this, do that instead. But what about this enlightened advice…

“Now let me warn you. I feel it’s my responsibility. I’ve been around the proverbial block. Most people are gonna tell you that what you are about to do is sinful. Don’t mind them too much. They’re just afraid, but I’ve seen some things and done some things and let me tell ya if you’re gonna do ‘that’ you might wanna do ‘this.'”

And we only know what ‘this’ is after we learn from ‘that.’ Can’t fear ‘that’ if you want to learn ‘this.’ The logic behind overcoming fear is sublimely simple, but to do it requires great strength because we have to admit to being deceived. We fear what we fear for a REASON. To overcome the fear we have to reevaluate this reason. We have to ask questions about it. Luckily somebody’s been there, done that and we can learn a lot from their experiences. But what happens after we’re repeatedly told we shouldn’t do something, but find a reason to do? Well, obviously we see a reason that the others do not. Will we be hurt or will we discover something new that will benefit those who told us not to try? Who knows. We have to ask the question to find out and since there is no one around who has gone that far we have to ask this question by doing.

Damn. Such a fight just to be free. But here’s the cosmic joke. We keep getting chance after chance to figure ‘it’ out. Why? Because ‘it’s’ trying to figure ‘itself’ out. Oh, and while we’re here…what created evolution? Seems like it creates itself but it needs matter to do that. Is matter its reason for existence? But what is it? What is the force of evolution? Oh, looks like we’re right back to where we started. Hmmm?

Now here’s the question for you: Is this God or our nature, or is God our nature because nature is our God? And by nature I mean everything you’ve ever known, will know, will never know and cannot even fathom and all of that other stuff that is still evolving, evolving and evolving…

For those uneasy about the Creator and God name dropping let me explain. Those words have evolved to describe literal phenomena. Our subconscious may get its information from this force. Literally. And in no way am I attempting to diminish the power of belief, nor am I attempting to reduce God to a Petri dish. I don’t have to. God exists simultaneously in the Petri dish and outside of it. This stuff is way more wondrous than we can even imagine. More powerful than we can imagine. I cannot accurately describe or pinpoint this phenomena and I really don’t want to. I just dig the idea that we get it without really getting it. That is such an oddly beautiful peculiarity. You can substitute ‘evolution’ for the offensive words if you must. I get tired of using that one. Doesn’t have the same ring to it.

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