RE: Action


In this post I discussed how our actions are the result of factors outside of our control—factors such as environment (which includes our physical surroundings, culture, family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, Canadians, etc.) and the programs that instruct matter’s development (note the circle there: the programs within us and the elements in our universe shape our environment which in turn shapes us). Essentially, there is no such thing as control. Free will is an illusion.

I know, sounds disconcerting and even a bit unbelievable; especially considering that at this very moment you are probably pondering several different options, and I’m certain you think you have a lot to do with the decisions you will eventually settle on. But you are an illusion, an amalgam of the factors mentioned above. This life that we perceive as a series of hmmmm moments is really just a series of tug-o-war matches between these factors. We are merely the neutral facilitator—the space where the game is played (the : in the one option : other option ratio). But why? Why do we—damn it……alter-ego, are you there?

Always. Wassup?

I think I’m gonna need your help with this one.

Why? You managed just fine with that last one.

Not really. I think the essence of what I was going for—championing for ‘gray’ hardliners—is there, but something is missing.

That’s too bad…what do you need me to do for this one?

What you normally do: play surrogate for my non-existent readers—challenge me, call me on my bullshit.

Okay, but I’m gonna need you to do something for me though.

What is it?

I’m tired of this italicized crap. It’s boring…and since I’ve been kicking some serious ass recently—I put my foot in that ‘Sex Machines‘ role—I was thinking I should be represented in a bolder fashion.

Got anything in mind?

Yes. Color. Bold color.

Consider it done.

Now that’s more like it! Can you go back and add it to the old articles?

There’s no way I’m doing that. Now let’s get back to—

—repeating yourself again. There is a nauseating irony to this blog: All you do is reiterate the same points over and over again while bemoaning the fact that all you do is reiterate the same points over and over again.

Yes, it’s nauseating, but I can’t help it.

Well, according to your premise you literally cannot.


But don’t you think placing the blame for your obsessive need to explain the inexplicable on ‘forces outside of your control’ is a bit of a cop-out? You can stop writing this crap any time you want.

Yes, but the moment ‘I’ stop will be dictated by my programming. There’s no way around it. Even a so-called ‘sudden’ spaz-out or crime-of-passion is governed by programming.

So I guess we should release all prisoners, as the crimes they committed weren’t their fault.

Who would release them?

What do you mean?

The people who work in law enforcement, as well as those who create the laws, are following their programming. Programming that won’t allow them to release prisoners. Look, it’s quite simple: our programming determines how we react to our surroundings. Existence is kind of like an infinite omnidirectional Rube Goldberg machine. Just a bunch of things reacting to one another, none of it random…and it’s all happening at the same time—well, not the same time, as time is an illusion, but within the same moment—the same space.

I can never wrap my head around this ‘time is fake’ stuff.

It’s simple, there is no time in space. Only the ‘opportunity’ to perceive it. Time is a measurement of distance and distance can only be perceived between points, matter represents contrasting points in space, therefore time is matter.

You’re losing me man.

The concept of progressive time is linked to matter’s constantly changing states of being. Not just in form, but also in location—the Earth and its life-forms evolve as does our relative location. The tick an’ tock of time is change. Material change. As a result time is material. A relative thing.

Then that’s what makes it real! Change is real!

To borrow a bit from the last post: “Since matter (both tangible and intangible) is constantly changing it is impossible to define the true nature of anything. As a result everything becomes the same—simply matter…”

We’re not talking about the ‘true nature’ of anything, we’re talking about time.

Time is part of the ‘impossible to define nature.’ We cannot pinpoint the definitive nature of change. For instance, what is the ‘final’ state of being for a human embryo?

An adult, well a dead adult if you wanna get technical.

What will it become in 356 heliotrezkrillion years?

First of all, what in the hell is a heliotrezkrillion? Second of all, I have no clue what the embryo’s final state will be. Particulate vapor perhaps?

What about material that spawns a new star, another planet, another life-form or maybe synthesized into an alien technology? Whatever it becomes, that would ‘still’ not be the ‘final’ state of being for the embryo.

You’re just talking crazy now.

I know, and I’m not going to make any apologies for it. Look, all I’m saying is that we have no clue what the ‘first’ or the ‘last’ states of matter were or will be because such absolute states do not exist, therefore it is impossible to determine a definitive rate of change. Only relative rates—contrasting relative points in space. Here’s another way to think about it: Go outside on a clear night, stare out into the dark recess of space…although you cannot see what lies way, way, way, way out there, you are looking into infinity. You’re seeing it ‘all’ and very ‘little’ at the same time. In other words: All = The Infinite Moment, Little = Time.

So we’re all slaves in a sense. Prisoners of perception. This is sounding a lot like the Matrix films. This scene in particular.

Yep, that’s it! Great scene. Everything is relative. Well, there’s one exception. There is one thing that subverts relativity, one pure thing and that is—

—space. Already know that punchline, and the subsequent ‘but then again’ rebuttals: Space isn’t really pure because it is full of matter and matter is full of space, as a result space and matter are just one big/small infinitely dense thing…’but then again’ not really because space is infinite with no ‘walls’ to contain it, therefore it isn’t a ‘true’ thing…blah blah blah.

Yep, more of that nauseating irony, so let’s go ahead and end this.

You mean this post or the entire blog? I would advise that you stop writing this mess altogether. You’ve said all you can say. All you’re going to do is repeat yourself over and over again. You know: reality is an illusion, something is nothing, nothing is something, there are absolutely no absolutes—all that contradictory progressive/regressive nonsense.

Maybe that’s the point.

To come off as an obsessive-compulsive idiot-savant? Emphasis on ‘idiot.’

No, to say the same thing in many different ways. It’s the story of the universe.

That’s not too bad of a closing line. What’s next? The obligatory Mandelbrot zoom send-off?

You know me well.

Oh hey, one last thing before you go—you say there are programs within all matter and that matter is made up of a plethora of different things; does that same rule apply to the programs? Are they also things made up of other things?

Wow. That’s a good question. And yes, the programs are things composed of other things.

Are there programs that govern the pieces of the programs?

What have I gotten myself into?

A mess.

That’s exactly what all of this is. Just a big ol’ reactionary mess—programs program matter and matter programs the programs—remember the circle at the top of the post? Really, it’s all just one big program.

But what rules that program?

It is the ruling program—one program consisting of an infinity of ‘other’ programs.

But what controls the ‘whole?’

All the different programs.

But what’s the point?

I don’t know, but I wonder about it constantly.

Is wonder also the result of a program?

Hmmmm…I wonder…

Real cute. I have to ask: How does it feel being so damn enlightened?

Please don’t lay that trip on me man. I am far from enlightened. I’m just another cog in the machine. Yes, I may write about our illusory existence, but I am very much under its spell. It’s why I’m having such a hard time ‘exposing’ it. It is that good.

But don’t you want to be freed from it?

Maybe one day I’ll get closer to that possibility.

Why just ‘closer?’

I don’t think it’s possible to go all the way.

Why not?

Because there’s always gonna be ‘something’ in the way of absolute truth—another layer of the illusion.

That sucks.

No it doesn’t.

What do you mean? How can it ‘not’ suck?

If you would’ve clicked the ‘closer’ link you would know.

I’ll do it later, back to what I was saying…if there’s always some thing in the way that means we will never ever know the ‘truth.’

Well, although existence is an illusion, it is a reflection of the truth…so in a way it is—

—the truth. Here we go again. Just more of the same overlapping duality ‘every whole is a fraction of a whole’ mess.

Exactly. Just like this post, and the others that precede it—they begin with an absolute claim and then deteriorate into nonsense. Just like matter. I may be one thing, but I break do—

Okay, I get it. I get it. But if there’s ALWAYS something in the way then does the ‘truth’ even exist? Perhaps the illusion is all that there is.

Well, if the illusion is the only thing then ‘it’ would be the ‘truth.’

For fuck’s sake, I don’t think I can do this anymore. It’s making my head hurt. I don’t know how you find joy in chasing something you will never find.

I don’t NEED to find it, I KNOW it’s there because I KNOW this is an illusion.

Dude, you only BELIEVE it’s there. You only BELIEVE this is an illusion. If this infinite thing we call the universe is the only thing then it is the only real thing, NOT an illusion!

And that would ‘still’ be divine.

Divine?! How?! It would just be shit reacting to shit with no purpose beyond shit reacting to shit.

And that’s what makes it divine. It’s a loop—an infinite loop of self-sustaining energy.

You do know divinity is relative…right?

Of course I know that, but I’m ridin’ with it for right now.


Because I want to.

But you’re ‘programmed’ to want to.

Exactly. And that’s divine…too. Think about it: We’re wired to chase! Our incessant search for food, for water, for love, for any damn thing—along with the other infinite recurring cycles of matter—is what sustains the energy.

But what is the point of the energy? What is it powering? Wait, don’t answer that. I already know exactly what you’re gonna say—the energy powers the energy, it’s just more of that bloody circle shit again.

Yep, more of the same.

The same boring shit. You need some new material.

How about some God talk? I’ve kinda been beating around the bush in regards to the ‘God possibility.’

That’s because you’re afraid of people outright dismissing you if they see any semblance of God talk. But to hell with it, I’m curious about the possibility myself so I’m just gonna say it: What if ‘the thing some of us call God’ is in control? And fuck people and their desperate need for labels. You can’t let boring, curiosity-hating, know-it-all, got-everything-figured-out drones dictate how you express yourself. And please don’t point out the irony of my labeling of these people…or the irony in how they are programmed to be that way.

Don’t need to, you already did it. In regards to God: in the past I’ve posited that this whole self-sustaining mess could be ‘called’ God if that’s what you wanna do.

Well, you’ve been talkin’ all this shit about divinity—is that something you wanna do?

I don’t know.

So you’re saying you don’t know if you believe?

I guess.

Why can’t you just say yes or no?

Because I don’t know. Also, I’m a ‘gray’ hardliner.

But you were just babbling about divinity and believing in an underlying truth.

In regards to what is.

So you don’t think God is?

I don’t know how to properly conceptualize God.

Don’t worry about that. Nobody knows how to ‘properly’ do that shit. You see the mess religions have gotten themselves into trying to do it. They usually make God into a human male—a jealous, angry, vindictive and spiteful human male at that. Of all the infinite life in the infinite universe how can God ‘just’ be a dude? But hey, if that works for you then rock on. If you need God to represent some ideal of dominant masculinity to compensate for an existential insecurity you’re having a hard time reconciling with I’m not going to beat you up for it. But please understand that your version will NOT be accepted as the only version. And you shouldn’t have to impose it on others. If God was ‘absolutely’ a vengeful man then the spirit of God within me would have already let me know that. I don’t need your fascistic suggestion making a mess of a truth I feel…inherently. Look, all I’m saying is you can make ‘the thing some of us call God’ into whatever the hell you want it to be. Whatever works for you.

Well, I guess I can see God as a supreme being, not in an anthropomorphic sense, but as a supreme method of being—the infinite moment, the infinite is.

Okay, but what is the inherent nature of this being?

It has no inherent nature. It just is.

So it’s neutral?


Do you ‘want’ it to be neutral…or do you want it to be on your side?

It doesn’t matter what I want.

Yes it does. It matters what you believe.

But I KNOW it’s neutral, I KNOW it doesn’t care.

What if it cares enough to fool you into thinking it doesn’t care? I mean that could be an angle if you want it to be.

Why? What would be the point of that?

What’s the point of this existence you’re so certain is an illusion?

We’ve already discussed that.

I know, and where do we usually end up? Going around and around the loop, never arriving at a definitive point. You say we have no control, you say the programs are the ones in control, but the programs are composed of other programs which are composed of other programs…and since we cannot definitely track down the original program that means the programs aren’t even in control of themselves! So really, NOTHING is in control! Frankly, I’m getting tired of all this cognitive dissonance porn. It’s driving me crazy.

You think creating a personal God is a way to remedy that?

Perhaps. You said you KNOW that ‘something’ is there. I’m just saying that maybe you could give that something a name and a nature.

But that would be a blatant fabrication.

Yes, but—like the illusion—it would be another reflection of the truth. Look, whoever or whatever you serve becomes your God anyway—be it your job, your spouse, your passion, et cetera. It doesn’t matter if you believe in a ‘God’ or nothing at all, we are ALL serving some thing. I’m just saying give yourself something you WANT to serve. Something that makes you feel better about yourself.

But it would be bullshit. I’m content with the ‘true’ divinity of the mind-bogglingly contradictory nature of the universe.

That’s boring. Not as fun as a God or Gods.

I mean I get why we dig religions. They are full of stories and ideas that span several generations and precede the births and follow the deaths of their flesh-and-blood believers; making them a kind of anchor point in a mad sea of rapidly occurring evolutionary change. I get that. I also get why we corroborate these beliefs with physical manifestations. I get why ‘we’ do it. I just don’t think ‘I’ could do it.

Our drive to create physical manifestations are a big part of what makes them real! The drive is real! As a result THEY are real! Also, if we are wired to create Gods, build physical structures in their honor and worship them, then why does the possibility—not the certainty—but the mere possibility of a God-like ‘something’ working behind the scenes seem so preposterous to you? Especially when you just said we are programmed to incessantly chase love. You said ‘the chase’ is what sustains the energy. In other words: love sustains the energy. What if love is the energy? What if love literally is forever?

You’re kind of reaching there. I also mentioned that we chase food, water and other things.

But why? Why do we chase those things? To live obviously. But what is the point of living? What if it’s to love? What if God is literally love?

Bu what if you die without ever having loved?

That doesn’t mean the force of love ceases to exist. Some being somewhere is experiencing it. Some being somewhere will ALWAYS experience it.

Some being somewhere will also ALWAYS experience hate.

That is true, but like I said: it’s up to you to give it a name and a nature. Do you want it to hate you or to love you?

Look, I’m not saying that this Love God stuff isn’t a possibility. I just want to be certain.

You don’t have to be certain! Just try something new. What you’ve been doing so far hasn’t been working…unless you consider pitiful grown-ass man angst working.

Of course not.

So why not try something new?

It’s not in my nature to believe in bullshit.

But you’re already full of it…as is this blog.

How about YOU give it a run and tell me how it works out for YOU?

Fine, I’ll do that.

Who’s your God gonna be?

I don’t know, but it’s probably gonna be a woman. Gorgeous. Cool as hell. Loves me unconditionally. Wicked sense of humor. Big fan of—

Are you describing a God or your dream girl?


Oh. I see what you did there. Real smooth.

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