Practical Prophecy

I wanna talk about prophecy for a second. Oh, and don’t be afraid of that word. For the sake of this post it means a collection-of-past-truths-aligning-with-present-truths-usually-presented-in-allegorical-form. The ‘allegorical-form’ is key. That’s where the sleight-of-hand happens. Saying something like Joe Buckchik will visit a Marriot on 1834 Pell Street in Philadelphia on September 21, 2049 is too precise. If Joe doesn’t show you will lose some prophet credibility. You have to make your prophetic vision specifically nebulous. You won’t get many hits if you deal in specifically specific. I’m not saying it’s impossible. It very much is, and if you do get some hits—even if you only get ONE hit—you can raise your prophet-level significantly; but what you really wanna do is nail a ‘feeling.’ That’s what the colorful allegorical language does so bloody well. It stretches through time and makes us feel something and that right there is an incredible feat.

Specific, idiosyncratic details confuse us. We struggle to relate them to our experience, but stories with other-worldly, fantastical elements that speak figuratively, yet brutally honestly about our condition move us. Captivate us. The extraordinary stuff and the human stuff merge to create something that is specifically nebulous. A great example of a prophetic vision that is both incredibly BROAD and incredibly FOCUSED (albeit not very fancy) is the Golden Rule

This seems like a statement, but it inspires a question: How would I like to be treated? We have to figure that out first…before we can move on to considering others. And it is not as simple as “I wanna be treated good.” WHY do we want to be treated ‘good?’ How in the hell do we know what GOOD is? Shouldn’t our answer to this question be resounding doubt? The only way for us to know that being treated well is better than being treated poorly is to experience both. Now here’s the divine part: MOST of us want to be treated well. MOST of us want to be loved. Why is this? Do we come equipped with an IDEA of how we would like to be treated? If so, why are we so confused? And why doesn’t the world we have created for ourselves reflect this ESSENTIAL truth? It seems like a prison for our shame. Maybe we’re embarrassed by our desire to be treated well. Maybe we don’t think we deserve such treatment. With that said…

I have a few copies of the Bible lying around and since I have been looking for a new book to read I was thinking about tackling it. To be honest: I have a hate/love relationship with the religion attached to this tome. I HATE it for convincing my ancestors that what they were doing BEFORE (the FUCKING ‘thing’ that got them through bullshit like the Middle Passage) was WRONG???!!!…

    “Fuck you dude. You can’t even handle the climate in this ‘New World’ of yours! You got some nerve shittin’ on the sun. Now get outta my damn way so I can build this country’s fucking HEARTland for you.”

I love it because it is batshit crazy (secret: just like us). What I mean is: it has some beautiful POETRY in it as well as some horrific—but equally poetic—imagery. It is an all-over-the-map anthology full of EVERYTHING that we THINK we are which makes it seem less the word OF God and more our word TO ‘a’ god. A “This is what we think you think of us.” message. Our lives then become an attempt to SHOW God that we are better than what we think He thinks we are. But what do we think He thinks about us? Like to the core? Well, to hear us tell it He thinks we’re bad, but He loves us in spite of that. We just gotta worship only Him and give some props to His son…like A LOT of props. Often.

    “You mean the same FUCKING S-U-N we were giving props to asshole! That magical 93-million-mile-away floating ball of radiant energy that transports water from sea to land from which it raises life-sustaining food. It also gave me this gorgeous protective armor to guard against the more intense, but necessary aspects of its radiance. I don’t gotta cover myself with dead animals or wrap myself in mosquito nets or seek/create shade just to survive my environment. I can be naked-as-hell and live and THRIVE! So fuck you and your arrogant need to turn the sun into YOU! It’s a fucking ball of fire! It ain’t no GODdamn MAN!!! Y’all just be pullin’ stunts. Chill the fuck out with that shit.”

I get all riled up, ready to whip the Bible with its own belt and then this happens…

    Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. -Psalm 1:1

Damn. Such a cool-ass way to say haters never prosper, so why not go see about that ‘love’ thing? Nice. But then there’s this…

    Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse. -1 Peter 2:18

I could only imagine being an African slave, newly in America, and hearing that passage for the first time…

    “Uh……wait a minute. You say I’m supposed to do WHATEVER that old man wants me to do? Even the freaky shit? I gotta do all that to get to heaven? I mean he could beat the dog shit outta me and I just gotta let him do it?! Get the entire fuck outta here with that bullshit. Who the hell is this ‘Peter’ guy anyway? He ain’t nobody ‘I’ know. There ain’t no ‘Peters’ where I come from.”

Man, what kinda shit was Peter into? How did this even make it into the final cut?! I would LOVE to pick his brain. The really cool part about this stuff is that WE wrote it! What was going on around dude when he jotted this down? What was he feeling? Was he tired? Hungry? Aroused? The HUMAN element of this stuff fascinates the hell outta me.

Oh, and what’s up with all the Hes and Hims? Are we over-compensating for the LACK of consistent male role models? Do we have a collective ‘daddy issue?’ Is that why God and his boys MUST be men? Does this all go back to sex? We ‘bang’ together, ‘father’ takes off, then almost a year later a kid is born—a son; who is left to teach himself how to be a man. Since he possesses the same traits as his absent father he will likely leave the woman he chooses to sire children with. Another ‘virgin’ birth follows…

Who is humanity’s last man who stayed? Oh yeah, that’s right…


He’s been with us for as long as we can remember, giving us life, feeding us, regulating our climate, rotation, orbit…just a whole lotta really important shit. But WHY does the sun do this FOR us? What did we do to deserve its love? On the flip, here in Cali we’re wondering: What did we do to deserve its wrath? People are talking about migrating out due to the drought. This is not a new thing of course. We’ve been moving around this ball due to climate since we’ve been moving around. That’s why this sun-savior talk isn’t dismissive, it’s actually reverential. I think our religions are incredibly profound, awe-inspiring existential philosophy. And their math and science departments have ALWAYS kept their eyes on the skies. Always keen to celestial and climate shifts. They’re not JUST about chanting, praying and Inquisitioning.

Some think that since our godmen stories are simply derivative solar fan-fiction we should just go ahead and toss the whole lot of this religion stuff.

I say no; resoundingly. These ‘tall tales’ are very much representative of US!!! Just read the text (doesn’t matter which) then LOOK around. The meatiest (literally) parts are ALL happening RIGHT NOW!!!! They’re ALWAYS ALL happening RIGHT NOW!!!! What is IT? THIS! This making the things we hate our god and considering the things we love child’s-play. Jokes. But what if…

…when you make the things you hate your god you are worshiping the Devil? And what if when you treat the things you love (your special unique gifts) like they are frivolous, novelties, even worse…HOBBIES(!!!) you are smacking God in the face with a lead pipe. So not only are you ‘worshiping the Devil’ you’re also Haggaring God across the dome. I don’t care what you believe—I don’t care if you’re COGIC or no pig, Presbyterian or Hindu, strict vegetarian—if you haven’t given your SOUL to your PASSION then you haven’t given your soul to ANYTHING. And that includes this Christ folks are always talking about. It’s ironic how we do more shit we hate than things we love. Worse yet, we TALK shit about the things we hate more than the things we love. Just giving birth to demons left and right…

Go into a church. Peep WHO they are talking about. Does it sound like they love them? I’ll save you the time, it’ll probably be a diatribe dripping with faux-compassion about someone who is not present, or if they are present they’ll be too afraid to stand up and say something (I was too afraid to stand up and say something). The sermon will be dominated by talk about who’s sinning, who’s fucking who, who’s going to hell—basically TMZ.

    “You got that right. It’s just an elaborate shit-talking show broken up by droning, repetitive songs whose only changes are of volume. Creates a fake-ass sense of energy. But it’s really just clown-makeup covering the terror underneath.”

Wait a minute, let me chill. I’m sitting in the company of mockers. Let’s move on… The members of these spit-fire-type churches believe they are no-doubt going to heaven (the good-forever place) because they said a few words out loud about soul surrendering. But WHO are they giving their souls to? Is the who even important?

We’re always talking about WHO we give these rights to, instead of WHAT. Funny thing is we know a lot more about WHAT (thanks to prophecy) than WHO. For instance, you may know WHO wronged you, but it is WHAT they did that affected you, it is the WHAT that has you deleting THEM from your phone, your life. The him/her/it/them/π of it doesn’t REALLY matter, it’s JUST matter. We collect a lot of WHATs in our lifetime, very few WHOs. It’s no wonder the books break down the same way. It’s a lopsided What : Who ratio in these tomes, but why do we always end up talking about WHO? Who dominates our thoughts. Who dominates our conversations. Who dominates our newsfeeds. Our timelines. Our newspapers. Our TVs. Our workplaces. Our homes. Who is on first.

The world’s going to shit!!!! Newsflash: It ALWAYS is and ALWAYS will be according to these old books (AND our ‘new books;’ Everything from 1984 to The Avengers speak volumes about us)…unless we do something about it. But what CAN we do? Prophecy usually tells us to do something drastically different than what we are currently doing if we wanna see change. Like a polar behavioral flip.


That ‘s WAY too hard. Way too DIFFERENT. If only there were something that each one us could do. Like a unique ‘purpose,’ ‘blessing,’ ‘gift’ that we could pour our souls into. Maybe then we could live forever. Maybe we could leave something behind! Something ‘way too DIFFERENT’ that future generations could turn to for guidance, empathy, inspiration, entertainment. Something colorful, peculiar, scary. Something that could endure wars, pestilence, devastating climatic events—all that zeitgeist-y shit. Something prophetic.

* Do you think you would KNOW about God if you didn’t know about religion, and by ‘KNOW about God’ I mean even ponder the IDEA that SOMETHING ELSE could be perceiving you…all the time. At the ennathaday that’s what it’s all about—another muthafucka lookin’ at you. Now let’s toss social networking, NSA, ubiquitous surveillance into the mix. Looks like that ‘possibility’ proves TRUE. Oh, but it’s only US looking at US so it’s not the same thing as an all-seeing, all-knowing, omnipotent voyeur. WRONG!!!! It just proved the possibility, not the ABSOLUTE fact of the possibility’s nature.

Many of us are introduced to the CONCEPT of God via a particular religion and for many American-born/raised atheists, myself ONCE included, that religion is Christianity. And once I ‘debunked’ Christianity I ‘proved’ God didn’t exist. But what kind of logic is that? I found fault with the vessel in which a concept was introduced and used that fault to deny its supposition OUTRIGHT(!!!). That doesn’t sound like too CRITICAL of a thought process, nor does it sound very FREE.


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