starship troopers

Insects can survive VIOLENT impacts that if scaled-up would liquefy us! Right now there’s this little aphid thing fluttering in front of my screen and I have swatted at dude with a force that should have rendered him dead the MOMENT my hand impacted his tiny little body. But this dude keeps coming back on some very-next-day type shit. They’re bloody nanotechnology I tell ya. Little micro-bots. How you gonna look pretty much the same from the dinosaur days to NOW?! Just sayin’ “Fuck you evolution!” for millions upon millions of years. Oh, and look at what they bleed out?! Green and blue shit! That’s not blood, that’s fuel! And they CRUNCH(!) when stepped on! This sound—scaled-up—would sound similar to some sort of artificial mechanical device breaking apart. Imagine a bug the size of the one above being stepped on. Also, how you gonna stay still, in ONE DAMN spot?! Not doing ONE DAMN thing?! For hours???!!!

Sometimes I wonder if insects time travel (for real, not just in the figurative way I mentioned). Like when a spider is chilling on its web its traveling through time. Through one of its eyes its watching the construction of the Pyramids of Giza through one of the eyes of an ancestor. And that ancestor is watching a pack of raptors pounce on another type of dinosaur (don’t feel like looking one up) through one of the eyes of another ancestor. And they’re all seeing everything—all at once—because they have HELLA eyes. That’s why they fly around so erratically. Crashing into you an’ shit. But it is amazing that they’re still ‘here’ when they seem like they are so far away from us. Aware of us but not in the same ‘world’ as us. Seriously, how are you just gonna sit there for seven hours? It’s just a damn balcony dude.

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