Fucking sigh…

We’ve been doing this shit shoulder-to-fucking-shoulder for WAY TOO GODDAMN LONG on this stolen-ass land to be talkin’ about dumb shit like violent revolutions/race wars. Fuck, we JUST did the embarrassing public display of domestic violence thing yesterday! Muthafuckas out here just lustin’ to kill each other. Shit is kinda homoerotic when you think about it, but I won’t get into all that right now.

Aren’t you guys tired of this shit? Of course you are!!! Just look at what’s going on. People aren’t even trying anymore!!! Just rebooting old shit: We got legal public murders of black men by white authority and self-imposed authority figures, we got black folks marchin’ an’ shoutin’ in response to it, we got the obligatory opportunists who step in and exploit it for personal gain (see: looters, rioters, media personalities, politicians, etc.). You gotta be pretty exhausted to be this unoriginal. Sorry, I don’t mean to be dismissive, but I can’t help but cringe at the rhetoric flying around (from all sides). We’re all just leaning on hackneyed-ass bullshit. People are uneasy because they’re afraid to talk openly about their insecurities, fears (dirty little secret: that’s what this shit is all about)…so we toddle around; quiet, nervous, frustrated. End up raging outward; because that is ALWAYS easier (I know this ride too-damn-well) than honestly and openly sharing with each other how all this madness makes us feel. All that vulnerable shit. It’s much easier (and more attractive) to burn shit down, choke people in the street and call for violent revolutions on social media.

Oh, and YES…violence works. It will get you what you want…if what you want is more of this. Fucking listless-ass, deep ennui-inducing this. Don’t believe me? What are every last one of the muthafuckas who fought to get what they want doing right now?

STILL FUCKING FIGHTING!!!!!!!

They’re always fucking fighting!!! If that is what you want, then by all means, go arm yourself to the teeth and blow each other away.

You know what’s funny? We like to talk shit about cults who commit mass suicide, but when you think about it, that is precisely what our human collective is doing (has BEEN doing)!!! But instead of being god-centered, our cult is identity-centered. We steadfastly believe in our identities. So much so we will kill and be-killed for them. We even model our gods after them. We are obsessed with US!!! Makes sense though. Our bloody, fleshy identities are fleeting. After our bodies (the machines that carry the self) break down the matter that composes them evaporates into the ether. Our unique looks, our voices, our mannerisms—just everything that we THINK we are…

skeleton-woman

We’re left unremarkable; virtually indistinguishable from everyone else. Maybe that’s why we hold on to this moment for dear life. Maybe that’s why we pile on relative distinction after relative distinction. Maybe we are trying to anchor ourselves in place. We think THIS is the only life we have…or at least the only one we will be aware of. No matter what we SAY we do or do not believe many of us fear absolute unawareness. Our religions (and the actions they inspire) speak to this. They are chock-full of pedantic, hyper-idiosyncratic rules about HOW we should live our lives, but ironically many of us only adhere to these rules for ONE crippling reason: Fear. Easily exploitable fear.

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