Many things—from early sexualization (read: sexual abuse, exposure) to our relationships with family—factor into how we PERCEIVE not just OUR sexuality, but the NATURE of sexuality itself. I often wonder why we feel FORCED to DEFINE our sexuality based on such a hazy-ass perception. Why are we so damn adamant that people MUST be gay, straight, bi, yada yada? Truth is: We don’t even REALLY know what we like. We only ‘kinda’ know. And this ‘kinda’ knowledge is predicated upon the experiences we’ve had measured against the experiences we’re ‘curious’ about. Our satisfaction or dissatisfaction with this measurement is directly linked to our sexual mental health. Speaking of ‘measurement’…
Sexuality is a lot more about ‘capability’ than ‘rigidity’ and many of us are more sexually capable than we think. That’s why the minds of MANY people (who call themselves gay, straight, bi, whatever) betray these labels. Y’all know exactly what I’m talking about. I mean REALLY KNOW (it’s that stuff that you’re scared to search for for fear of leaving a trace). No matter WHAT we CLAIM to be we wonder…boy do we wonder.
When we own every last hypocritical bit of ourselves the labels lose their power. It’s hard to be ‘straight’ when men turn you on, however infrequently (or call yourself ‘gay’ when women turn you on, however infrequently). You start to become annoyed with your label, but when you realize it is self-imposed you can strip that bitch off and just live your damn life. This works for all the distinctions: race, religion, gender, sexuality, et cetera.
And YES, I am speaking from experience. Just in case you were wondering.