A Reason to Believe

ABSOLUTE love may be the most militant thing we can do. That’s why barely anybody ever does it, or even ATTEMPTS it, yet MILLIONS of SO-CALLED militants take up arms, maim, kill. Not saying it’s EASY to maim and kill (PTSD kinda proves that), but there is most definitely a reason why wanton violence is met with ennui and we freak the fuck out when people are TOO nice. It’s also why we ferociously debate the POSSIBLE existence of PEOPLE who some believe to have been REAL-LIFE absolute lovers, instead of ruminating on whether or not the IDEA of absolute love itself is even POSSIBLE.

Is it?

Most would answer no, resoundingly. But why is that? Why do we doom ourselves like this? And why have we BEEN dooming ourselves…for age after (quite-literally) bloody age? And before I go any further…I ain’t shit, I’m over here bitter, narcissistic, misanthropic, hypocritical, full of entitlement and expectations. I am FAR from an absolute lover myself. But this isn’t about me. This is about—

Nah. Fuck that. We’re not gonna do that ‘it starts with ONE’ bullshit. Hell no. The world has to change FIRST and then I’ll change. I’m not gonna be out here trying to love these assholes. Fuck them. What I look like doin’ some gay shit like that? You got me fucked all-the-way up. But you know what? How about I make a compromise? How about I just pour love into the thing that brings me joy? Then give that to these assholes. Maybe they’ll dig it. Hell, they might even LOVE it. Can I do that and still be ‘good?’ I don’t think I can do that Gandhi or MLK stuff. Besides, they weren’t ABSOLUTE lovers themselves! That’s just their legacies. Legacies we molded, created because we need a point or ‘form’ to meditate upon. Something REAL (but highly idealized) to zealously and very publicly worship. A being who sacrificed personal dignity to show that TRUE love is possible. And the more aggressively we celebrate this being the closer we feel we are to true love (like love hangers-on). But what does this say about us? Why MUST we KNOWINGLY idealize complicated, messy flesh-and-blood people in order to believe in unflappable love? In other words: Why do we have to bullshit ourselves into believing in love? What are we without the bullshit? Are we—

Oh yeah, that’s right.

The thing. Just pour it into the thing.

But what about the plight of mank—

Okay, okay, I got it. The thing. The damn thin—

But isn’t that what I’m doing right now? I mean I kinda love doing this shit…kinda frustrated right now though, not doing too good a job of closing this one out. So what is it? Are we doomed to ‘bullshit love?’ Can we love ABSOLUTELY? Of course I want the latter to be true, but I just don’t know. I mea—

Wait. Wait.

It’s ALWAYS here!!! ALWAYS with us!!! Even when we THINK and BELIEVE it isn’t!!! It’s IN the thing!!! The gift!!! The TRUE LOVE is in the thing!!! Our purpose is just A manifestation of it!!! Yes, our gifts may be unique, diverse, but our LOVE for them is EXACTLY and ABSOLUTELY the same!!! We just have to believe IN ourselves!!! FOLLOW the love!!!


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