Just Jokes


In the past I have had Facebook friends give me names of TV shows to write scenes for and rappers to write bars for. This time I asked my friends to give me the name of a comedian and a subject for a joke. Enjoy…

D.L. Hughley (Subject: diet TV dinners)
“This girl I used to date ate nothin’ but Healthy Choice meals, didn’t lose one damn pound so I made the healthy choice and left the bitch.” -requested by Hope

Kathy Griffin (Subject: implants)
“A friend of mine said he was going to get a penile implant, wanted a bigger penis to satisfy his wife. I told him not to worry, save his money, Tyrone’s already got that taken care of.” -requested by Hope

Cedric the Entertainer (Subject: eugenics)
“Girl tried to tell me eugenics was responsible for her ‘good’ hair… I told her, ‘The sista who does your weaves got one funny-ass name.'” -requested by Anita

Mike Epps (Subject: infidelity)
“Niggas ain’t takin’ cheatin’ seriously no more. Niggas out here cheatin’ on they girl wit’ bitches she know! That’s some lazy-ass shit! You gotta find you an unconnected bitch; go check the bitch’s Facebook if you have to. If she and your girl got ANY mutual friends find you another bitch. I don’t care if it’s only one and that nigga is Obama—find you another bitch.'” -requested by Sabrina

Redd Foxx (Subject: respectability politics)
“After my last gig some stuffy nigga from the NAACP approached me. Said he didn’t like how I portrayed black people in my act. Told me I was holding the race back. I looked over to the girl he was wit’ an’ said, ‘Honey, you better ‘hold me back’ before I put my foot in this bourgie nigga’s ass.'” -requested by Anita

Dave Chappelle (Subject: feminism)
“I don’t really gotta problem with feminism. I got a wife, a daughter…how can I have a problem with it? But damn! These bitches be demandin’ a lot! Talkin’ about they wanna see an end to patriarchy. Nigga, I didn’t even know what that shit was when I first heard it. I was like, ‘Why these bitches gotta problem wit’ a’singin’-ass white family? What they do to them?’ I really didn’t know. I was confused. But then I found out they were talkin’ about male dominance over women. I’m not gonna lie, I wanted summa that shit. I ain’t got no kinda control over the women in my house. I went to one of them protests and was askin’ around for the shit like it was crack… ‘Psst…hey, where can I get some of that patriarchy? Don’t worry. I ain’t gonna use it. I’m just gonna get as much of it as I can and flush it all down the toilet.’ Then I punched myself in the nuts so they knew I meant business. This woman looked at me with disgust in her face… ‘Why, I never! How could you make a joke about something that has kept women in bondage for centuries?! Centuries!!!’ I said, ‘Bitch, I’M in bondage!!! My wife and daughter breakin’ all kinds’a glass ceilings over my head. This ain’t no joke lady. I need this shit! Now where is it?! Don’t make me pull my dick out! ‘Cause I will if I have to!'” -requested by Sabrina

If somebody doesn’t hire me to write for them (comic, rapper, TV show) soon I’m gonna……I ain’t gonna do shit. Let’s be real.



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