As Patrice


You see this Ben Carson muthafucka? Nigga love him some Hitler, don’t he? This idiot out here comparin’ everybody and everything to that dumb mustache havin’ muthafucka. I don’t even think he knows who he really is. Probably think he’s some cartoon villain. Nigga probably think he’s Gargamel or some shit… You see this fool on the news today? This dummy was talkin’ about how he used to attack people with hammers like he was fucking Mario…

(affects a slow, quiet, fey voice) ‘What was I gonna do? I had to protect myself. Donkey Kong is a big guy. Very Hitler-ish.’

This goofy nigga even said he tried to stab someone… I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on anymore man. Got corny niggas on TV actin’ like OJ, tryin’ to scare white people to move up in the polls. I’ve been scarin’ white people my whole damn life???!!! Ain’t nobody ask me to be president! And white people, you don’t want this dummy bein’ president. Nigga’s gonna be with world leaders actin’ like Oprah an’ shit, ‘YOU get to be Hitler! And YOU get to be Hitler!’

I’m so fucking glad I’m dead.


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