When I first heard about the ill-fated production this film documents I scoffed (this was the late 90s), but now—after this decade-long stream of can’t-tell-one-from-the-other-fanboy-pandering comic book flicks—I would love to see an outta-left-field, gospel-of-judas-y interpretation of a beloved character. I’m talkin’ shit like a disaffected Bruce Wayne who lionizes Joe Chill for killin’ his folks because they were abusive. I wanna see young Bruce sneaking into Gotham’s unregulated orphanages under the cover of night and beating the shit outta the sadistic headmasters he once suffered under. Oh, and the Joker’s gonna be a nihilistic comedian (think Andy Kaufman, early Tom Green) who scouts the orphanages (this take is all about orphans; Batman becomes an advocate for kids the world over; has major beefs with hawkish world leaders, works to dismantle their armies) for talent to take on his humiliating touring variety show. Oh, and Bats gets his name when he’s a young orphan after he is blinded as a result of the side effects of a Roland Daggett produced experimental ADHD drug a headmaster forces him to take. Initially he’s all Helen Keller-y, but after listening to a documentary about bats he gets inspired and teaches himself echolocation.


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