The fight to be.

Crying-Woman

“Damn, all my cliches are bouncing off this argument, but no matter what, I’m gonna keep chucking ’em at it. I’ll be damned if I give up now. I’ve been buying this school-of-thought my whole damn life, it’s even intrinsically linked to my persona. If I lose it then I’m nothing and I’ve worked so hard to be something.”

In group discussions (both on and offline) be wary of ‘dog-whistling.’ That’s when someone ignores the nuances of your point and spits some market-tested, tried-and-true hacky bullshit in an attempt to ‘activate’ fellow members of their ‘clan‘; in other words: fishing for like minds via some clan-approved talking point in order to recruit a gang of trite-breathers that—like a group of Pikmin ordered to take out a dangerous insect—mercilessly gang-up on the person challenging the clan’s status quo.

When they don’t have the patience to engage in passive aggressive dog-whislting they use the magical ally-teleportation technology known as ‘tagging’ (or @ing) to ‘call out’ to far-and-wide political kindreds, and in no time they’re at their digital doorsteps shaking their fists at their mutual enemies. This phenomenon seems to be more prevalent online than off, but ‘tagging’ also occurs (and HAS been occurring for ages) in the ‘real world.’ We @ each other via styles of dress, language, culture, demeanor. Race seems to be the most popular one. That much-ballyhooed ‘dog whistle’ that we have zero control over; which might explain all the angst attached to it. We want to be ‘more’ than it, but all these muthafuckas—both within and outside of our clans—keep boringly ‘reducing‘ us to it.

Shit makes you wanna cry sometimes. Shit makes you wanna die sometimes. All this relentless fighting just to be something that is supposed to come naturally to us. What a tragicomic irony. But fuck it, not gonna let it get me down, like it has my whole damn life, it’s even intrinsically linked to my persona; I’m gonna—

Actually, I have no damn clue what I’m gonna do. Guess I’ll just keep doing whatever ‘this’ shit is. Maybe this is my way of ‘calling out.’ But damn, why are my allies not as prevalent as theirs? Why are mine so deep-depression-inducingly rare?

Also, I thought I wasn’t gonna write any more articles about this shit. One more thing before I go…

A_SCANNER_DARKLY-38_resize

I used to absolutely HATE it when my ‘identity heroes’ had about-faces. When they would go from liberal-to-conservative, atheist-to-believer, militant-to-quiet, this-to-that. It felt like they betrayed me (and I was ready with a’buncha ‘sell-out’ derivatives to throw at ’em for doing so). They didn’t know how DEPENDENT my own identity was on theirs. They didn’t know that a big part of WHY I publicly celebrated them was because they were like living/breathing approvals. They helped to quell any doubt I had about myself. Actually, I take that back; they weren’t able to silence it completely. I still wondered if what I was doing or who I was TRYING to be was legit or not, but at least they helped to temper that. Suppress it for a bit. Didn’t hurt that other people were celebrating them too; like a shitload of other people. It was really cool when those ‘other people’ LOOKED just like me.

Advertisements

0 Responses to “The fight to be.”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s





%d bloggers like this: