Archive for the 'Death' Category


Is ‘this’ it?

Bored? Tired of your shitty life? Tired of your shitty reality? I think I can help. Here are some crazy true stories for you. Take your pick…

Desperate for another child, mother forces daughter to inseminate herself

Man loses life savings on carnival game

Chicago woman drags ex-boyfriend’s lover under her car

What? Been there, done that? But come on…you can play your favorite game—the At Least I’m Not… game. You know the rules, read sensational stories and then wax righteous: “Yeah, I may be fucked up, but at least I’m not THAT! fucked up.” It’ll be fun. You can even post the stories on your Facebook timeline. Have all your friends join in. Get all worked up for about ten minutes. No? Damn it. Okay, well, I should have known. These stories are full of nobodies. What about some celebrity gossip?! I got breakups, DUI busts, sex tapes, drunken Twitter ramblings, non-black celebrities saying the N-word. Still no? Been there, done that too? I got some Illuminati stuff. I got this YouTube video that proves that everyone is in the Illuminati. I mean everyone. Like the whole world. Still no? Damn. How am I gonna get your attention? Oh, I know, I need to raise the stakes

I knew that would work! Gotta blow some shit up to get your attention. Nothing like a big fucking deal event happening in a big fucking deal city to big fucking deal people to stop us dead in our tracks. High body count. Airplanes turned into missiles. Billows of toxic smoke chasing people through city streets. Epic. Extraordinary. Like a movie.

Hey. Wait. Where are you going? Hold on. There’s more. I got twenty-four-hour ‘BREAKING NEWS.’ I got miscellaneous officials talking in hyper-serious robotic tones about ‘what we currently know’ and speculating on everything else (this represents the bulk of the coverage). I got ‘ordinary people’ who heretofore you didn’t know or cared to know existed. You’ll care now because the big fucking deal happened to them. You’ll see their pained faces in sappy photomontages accompanied by comically maudlin music. Oh, and don’t worry, you won’t have to come up with any heartfelt commentary of your own, I got an assload of memes for you to share. Come on, don’t you want to Mourn™? Don’t you wanna do something with all of those Thoughts and Prayers™ you’ve been collecting? If you’re worried about length of commitment just remember: you’re only connected to the big fucking deal through the media. You don’t have to actually suffer like the people who were actually affected. You can stop giving a fuck the minute the coverage ends (this depends on a few factors: social class, nationality and race of the victims; level of sensationalism, body count and potential for political exploitation). And once it’s all over you can go right back to your shitty life, your shitty reality.

“In the future, every tragedy will be world-famous for 15 minutes.” -Andy Warhol (remixed by Spaceman’s Hairdo)

Hey, I know you want to end on that ‘profound’ quote, but I gotta question: What in the hell is your point? And I’ll take your answer inside.
Continue reading ‘Is ‘this’ it?’

Sex Machines

…well, to be frank, I think it’s gross…and it’s weird. Guys sticking their dicks in each other’s butts is just weird. I just can’t reconcile with that. An’ I don’t care if the two queens have been together for eight-hundred years either.

But two girls?

I have to admit, that one has gotten me ‘there’ a few times. But still, that shit’s evil too.


It’s perverted. Goes against what’s natural.

But you ‘naturally’ got off on it?

In a moment of weakness. Look, although I know it’s wrong, the idea of two girls isn’t gross to me.


Because women aren’t gross. Men are.

But you’re a man.

Yes, and I’m gross.

Then what does that say about the women who have slept with you?

It says that they abide by the natural laws of the universe.

How many children do you have?


Did you use birth control with the women you slept with?

Yes…sometimes…what are you getting at?

You disobeyed the natural law.

No, I didn’t. I just didn’t want any kids. Look, can we have this conversation inside? We’re in polite company out here.

Okay, after you.
Continue reading ‘Sex Machines’


“It’s all about the glitch. No matter how advanced the programming, there will always be room for glitches. Oddly enough, the more complex the machine, the more susceptible it is to glitches because of the ridiculous amount of virtual synaptic connections complex artificially intelligent systems possess, and there is no way to comprehensively understand the ‘nature’ of all of these connections. As a result, there will always be room—or voids—for glitches to exploit.”

naked black girls by Ray G.

We Love Japan

I’ve always marveled at how Japanese stories overtly reference scary, new, unknown agressively modern ideas via fanciful storytelling that gets its cues from an ancient wisdom. A wisdom that says a message about doom is not inherntly doomed itself. It actually serves a much-needed purpose. It reminds us of possibilites or shows us something for the first time. We find our simulated destruction entertaining because the likelihood of it actually occurring is relatively rare. Films about our destruction are far more frequent in occurence than the actual events themselves. However, when that ratio seems to even itself out we perk up a bit.

This is not the end.  It just feels that way. It feels like the worst has happened and is happening because it’s happening NOW. Our ignorance of the past and what occurs on other Goldilocks planets prevents us from this kind of scope. Not a bad thing when you consider the pain you would feel if you could fathom the devastation happening in Japan. The intricaices of the suffering would destroy us, fortunately, we only feel the loss—some thing was here and it is now no longer. This stuns us, rocks us to our core…we wonder to ourselves: that could have happened to me, why didn’t it? Our selfish impulse is the conduit for the empathetic response. Why didn’t it happen to me? Can it happen to me? We’re wired to stop and take stock sometimes.

We’ll get through this. Together. Like always. Just gotta keep livin.’

Pop Tricky: Charlie Sheen

The Facebook Universe
The New Witch Hunt
We ain’t got nothin’ to lose?
The Five Second Rule
God’s Nature

Pop Tricky: Mid-East Protests

You Hit Me First
The Power of Fear
Does Integration Equal Disintegration
The War Conspiracy
Mass : Gravity (How Forever Works)