Archive for the 'Gender' Category

The Dysfunction Loop

“Look, here’s how this is gonna go: You’re gonna pander to me, cater to all my whims, no matter how silly or self-destructive they may seem. After some time doing this I’m gonna start questioning your backbone. Even start wishing aloud that I had a stronger man. This is gonna piss you off. Like to the nth degree. You’ll put your foot down, say you’re done being my step-stool, that’s when I’ll start callin’ you all kinds’a bitches an’ shit. We’ll have a big-ass till-the-cops-come-knockin’ argument, but once the dust settles you’ll go back to pandering to me because you know what’s likely to come if you don’t, and of course I’ll eventually question your ‘manhood’ again. And no, I have no fucking clue what I REALLY want, I just know that whatever it is, most of it ain’t in you……. Hey, where are you going? Come back here. I NEED you.”

“Look, here’s how this is gonna go: You’re gonna pander to me, cater to all my whims, no matter how silly or self-destructive they may seem. After some time doing this I’m gonna assume you’re weak and that I can walk all over you. I’ll exploit this by stepping out on you countless times. This is gonna piss you off. Like to the nth degree. You’ll put your foot down, say you’re done being my step stool, that’s when I’ll start callin’ you all kinds’a bitches an’ shit. We’ll have a big-ass till-the-cops-come-knockin’ argument, but once the dust settles you’ll go back to pandering to me because I’ve proven to you—via other women wanting me—that I’m a ‘commodity.’ And no, I have no fucking clue what I REALLY want, I just know that whatever it is, most of it ain’t in you……. Hey, where are you going? Come back here. I NEED you.”

#hatelove

Turf Wars: Black Feminists v. Black Masculists

black-man-frustrated

Welcome to the first installment of what I hope will be a regular series where I dissect the various ‘battles’ I see being waged between two (ironically) intrinsically linked factions, as in: Their constant fight is what defines their respective identities.

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Concept-Art-John-Strieder-Willpower

I’ve been physically assaulted by a couple women. Never hit back though, didn’t feel the need to. I felt I could ‘handle’ the situation. Even when a knife was pulled on me… didn’t flinch (well that’s not entirely true, I did turn sideways slightly, to shield the vitals). I wonder if I thought this volatility was a worth-it price for a strong-willed, sexually aggressive, velveteen-pussied woman. Also, maybe there was a virtual-reality-horror-game excitement to the dysfunction that thrilled me. ‘Virtual’ in the sense that the level of danger was under my control; as I said above, I knew I could ‘handle’ whatever plucky situation that arose. The fear was never ‘real.’ Actually, let me take that back. There was one VERY real fear and that was the fear of losing them to someone else which tended to, ironically, be the impetus behind the arguments that led to the open hand slaps and steak knife brandishing (I would make machine-gun accusations replete with the most DEVASTATING insults; classic mental abuse shit1). Hmmmmmm….

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Much of our e-rage ain’t nothin’ but temper tantrums dressed up in hackneyed platitudes and intellectual posturing intended to sting the people we didn’t have the balls to go after at the time they were comin’ after us; all emboldened by hand-selected, aggressively pandering, pitchfork-wielding mobs who take up residence in our ‘thought ghettos’; dead-end places blighted by dismissiveness and a highly addictive substance called myopia.

There’re layers to this shit…

russiandoll

Why do some of us assume that [insert ism of choice] is THE factor and not perhaps one of several factors? Something One v. The Other happens and we assume that [insert ism of choice] is the PREVAILING factor (which divides us into two separate groups, aka ‘warring factions‘).

Shit’s starting to get REALLY boring…much like my incessant complaining about it. Oh, the irony.

check-your-facts

Memes, due to their lack of authors—who come with impact-mitigating baggage like names, faces and most importantly the ability to be scrutinized—come off as authoritative statements delivered by wise, disembodied voices. This—and the fact that they pithily corroborate their poster’s agenda—may explain why they’re seldom fact-checked.

The nature (“ZOMG!!! You fear the same things I fear!!! Let’s be friends!!!”) and blistering speed in which these memes and other dubious information proliferate social networks has me wondering if such a thing has occurred—albeit relatively slower at times, due to the fact that our ancestors had to physically move about the globe to spread their ‘memes’—throughout our entire history of records. That means everything from religious texts to historical accounts may be as ‘accurate’ as a meme declaring Obama the Antichrist.

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One side wants someone who will ALLOW them to lead, the other wants someone who will ALLOW them to lead themselves; neither side represents what the other wants, yet they are magnetically drawn to each other like two incessantly feuding children who you futilely try to keep apart by quarantining to different rooms.