Posts Tagged 'Gender'

The Dysfunction Loop

“Look, here’s how this is gonna go: You’re gonna pander to me, cater to all my whims, no matter how silly or self-destructive they may seem. After some time doing this I’m gonna start questioning your backbone. Even start wishing aloud that I had a stronger man. This is gonna piss you off. Like to the nth degree. You’ll put your foot down, say you’re done being my step-stool, that’s when I’ll start callin’ you all kinds’a bitches an’ shit. We’ll have a big-ass till-the-cops-come-knockin’ argument, but once the dust settles you’ll go back to pandering to me because you know what’s likely to come if you don’t, and of course I’ll eventually question your ‘manhood’ again. And no, I have no fucking clue what I REALLY want, I just know that whatever it is, most of it ain’t in you……. Hey, where are you going? Come back here. I NEED you.”

“Look, here’s how this is gonna go: You’re gonna pander to me, cater to all my whims, no matter how silly or self-destructive they may seem. After some time doing this I’m gonna assume you’re weak and that I can walk all over you. I’ll exploit this by stepping out on you countless times. This is gonna piss you off. Like to the nth degree. You’ll put your foot down, say you’re done being my step stool, that’s when I’ll start callin’ you all kinds’a bitches an’ shit. We’ll have a big-ass till-the-cops-come-knockin’ argument, but once the dust settles you’ll go back to pandering to me because I’ve proven to you—via other women wanting me—that I’m a ‘commodity.’ And no, I have no fucking clue what I REALLY want, I just know that whatever it is, most of it ain’t in you……. Hey, where are you going? Come back here. I NEED you.”

#hatelove

Turf Wars: Black Feminists v. Black Masculists

black-man-frustrated

Welcome to the first installment of what I hope will be a regular series where I dissect the various ‘battles’ I see being waged between two (ironically) intrinsically linked factions, as in: Their constant fight is what defines their respective identities.

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Concept-Art-John-Strieder-Willpower

I’ve been physically assaulted by a couple women. Never hit back though, didn’t feel the need to. I felt I could ‘handle’ the situation. Even when a knife was pulled on me… didn’t flinch (well that’s not entirely true, I did turn sideways slightly, to shield the vitals). I wonder if I thought this volatility was a worth-it price for a strong-willed, sexually aggressive, velveteen-pussied woman. Also, maybe there was a virtual-reality-horror-game excitement to the dysfunction that thrilled me. ‘Virtual’ in the sense that the level of danger was under my control; as I said above, I knew I could ‘handle’ whatever plucky situation that arose. The fear was never ‘real.’ Actually, let me take that back. There was one VERY real fear and that was the fear of losing them to someone else which tended to, ironically, be the impetus behind the arguments that led to the open hand slaps and steak knife brandishing (I would make machine-gun accusations replete with the most DEVASTATING insults; classic mental abuse shit1). Hmmmmmm….

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queensbridge_houses_8feb04

Much of our e-rage ain’t nothin’ but temper tantrums dressed up in hackneyed platitudes and intellectual posturing intended to sting the people we didn’t have the balls to go after at the time they were comin’ after us; all emboldened by hand-selected, aggressively pandering, pitchfork-wielding mobs who take up residence in our ‘thought ghettos’; dead-end places blighted by dismissiveness and a highly addictive substance called myopia.

Some MORE shit about sex…

The following is an informal sequel to this post. It touches on the nature of same-sex attraction. Enjoy.

I’ve been bouncing around this idea that perhaps people on the Kinsey 6 side of the scale possess a disgust for masculine/feminine physicality. I’m not saying they HATE men or women, but that they may be repulsed1 by the machinery of the opposite sex (all the textures, scents and tastes2).

Continue reading ‘Some MORE shit about sex…’

Self Fear

shadow

WHO are you BEFORE you are black, white, brown, man, woman, gay, straight, Jedi, et cetera?

Don’t bother answering. Nobody knows that shit.

Maybe that’s why we ‘cling’ to our identities, at least they are some THING; a tangible and easily relatable thing to be exact. Just look around. There are millions upon millions of people who LOOK just like YOU! People you can IDENTIFY with. You now have somewhere to place your SELF. Doesn’t matter if it’s resting on a shaky, superficial foundation…just pile some ‘culture’ on top to weigh it down.

For those of you who read that and are thinking this…

    I HAVE to be [BLANK] because that’s what everybody keeps telling me I am.

Who the hell is everybody?! Aren’t they just other ‘lost ones’ clinging to tenuous-ass identities? Why listen to them? Besides, all they’re REALLY doing is telling you WHAT you are. Nobody can tell you WHO you are because, as I stated above, nobody REALLY knows; hence the constant confusion, the constant fighting, the constant FEAR!!!!

Relative distinctions are heavily reliant on the existence of other relative distinctions; so all of you out there talking about how proud you are to be this or that go find someone who isn’t this or that and thank them for YOUR identity because without them you wouldn’t BE anything……well, maybe you’d just be you, but once a-goddamn-gain we don’t have any idea who we REALLY are so…

Maybe there’s a way to find out. Maybe we can navigate the murky, gray unknown that is the self (a frontier more confusing to us than the far reaches of space) to get closer to—but still remain far away from—an understanding of who we truly are.

Nah. That’s too scary…and pointless. Why dig if all we’re going to discover is just more dirt?
Continue reading ‘Self Fear’