Posts Tagged 'The Sublime'

Near Humans

robo dog

Most of the time when my brother’s cat is incessantly mewing at me I have no idea what the little dude wants, and I can tell this frustrates him ’cause his mews take on an impatient, whiny tone…but in those rare moments when I figure out what he’s ‘saying’ we have these great ‘we did the damn thing!’ moments afterward. Just basking in the success of our positive ‘cultural’ exchange. Shit’s pretty dope. I just hope when house pets evolve into the ‘new humans’ they remember us allies. Like build a monument to us or something.

This ‘new humans’ concept isn’t as far-fetched as you may think. Cats and dogs have evolved ‘near’ humans at a ridiculously accelerated pace and have been ‘studying’ us the whole time (just peep their incredibly inquisitive eyes when you’re doing some human shit; muthafuckas are taking genetic notes!!!!), so it’s not ‘crazy’ to think that they could potentially evolve into ‘near humans.’ Shit, there’s even some studies to back this up: This dude is thought to have been our prehistoric kinfolk. Muthafucka looks like a damn possum rat!

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More Broken Record Shit

“All that hype for an MP3 player? Break-thru digital device? The Reality Distortion Field is starting to warp Steve’s mind if he thinks for one second that this thing is gonna take off.” 2001 forum entry critical of the then yet-to-be-released iPod.

As I say often, ‘myopia is a helluva drug,’ but I’m gonna refrain from taking the opportunity to snark-down-my-nose-at-people-who-like-to-shit-on-vision (they’re actually necessary, they test the visionary’s resolve) that 15 years of hindsight affords; instead I wanna rap about another topic I incessantly blather on about, and that is the remarkable phenomenon that makes access to such ‘ancient’ thought possible; just think: all the back-and-forth rantin’ an’ ravin’ we’re doing on this worldwide web thing is being stored and categorized and will likely be ‘excavated’ by our future descendants, and this wealth of information will not only include what we publicly share, but our text, email and social media messages; the shit-talking we do in ‘private’ groups (as well as our ‘private’ or ‘incognito’ internet browsing histories), videos, pics, and perhaps even CCTV recordings (now THAT would be crazy).

Imagine the ‘picture’ that will be gleaned from the digital mark you leave behind. I’m actually not (too) afraid of this; even though I’ll probably come off like a perverted, needy, emotionally abusive, narcissistic sociopath. Although this seems to be a severe breach of privacy, I put myself in the shoes of my descendants and think how cool it would be to have access to the messy and contradictory thought processes of my ancient ancestors (their version of “I can’t believe it! In two days I’m marrying the love of my life!” on the main feed / “I can’t stand my fiance. I’m actually in love with her sister.” in the private group), instead of the our-ancestors-were-all-gods-amongst-men-thing-that-says-more-about-our-need-to-associate-ourselves-with-ancient-greatness-as-a-cover-for-our-crippling-insecurity-than-anything-else. Screw that. I wanna know about my ancient African/Asian/European/etc. slacker, fuck-up, queer, outcast, artistic brethren. I wanna be emboldened by THEIR stories.

With all that said, this brave new world of unfettered access to ancestral mores is not one-hundred percent guaranteed; a strong coronal mass ejection (shotgun blast of electromagnetically charged particles from the sun) could wipe all this shit out, creating a ‘flood’ of sorts; ‘cleansing’ the world of our ethereal ‘sins’.

Speaking of digital and ancient stuff…

Post Sexual


The other night I was watching a movie and there was a scene where a girl had her tits out and they were BEAUTIFUL. I tried my DAMNDEST not to sexualize them, to see them as ‘just breasts,’ but they kept presenting themselves as ‘tits.’ As I stared I started to meditate on a time when her and I both looked like the ‘couple’ in the picture above; when ‘tits’ were merely provisionary…

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A View From Above


There is something about this image (taken by NASA’s Juno satellite) of Jupiter’s north pole that I find a bit disconcerting. I’ve become accustomed to a particular image of the planet. You know the one, the shot with the alternating horizontal streaks of peach and white, offset by the gas giant’s most recognizable feature—that perpetually churning ‘red spot.’

Seeing my beloved planet from this angle just doesn’t feel ‘right.’ Maybe it’s because I’m looking ‘down’ on it, which seems to mitigate its superlative planetary prowess. Don’t get me wrong, I’m giddy as fuck about these new perspectives; I’m probably just a little overwhelmed. I kinda love this shit.

Naturally Artificial


I’ve always taken issue with the notions that humans ‘play’ God, or that our creations are ‘artificial’ or ‘unnatural’ as everything we create is composed of elements found within our universe. Yes, some of our creations may be syntheses of (oftentimes other synthesized) elements, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the elements, like us, are NATURALLY occurring. Also, all these creations evolve into existence through our natural-ass hands and are products of our natural-ass minds which are driven by natural-ass genetic predispositions. In this way—cities, high-tech gadgetry and everything else we create are no different than anthills or termite colonies. (What may set us apart, however, is our hyper meticulously obsessive method of creation.) It’s hard for us to divorce ourselves from our perception of ourselves as a superior species to see this though; to understand just how ‘naked’ we are in the universe. We are just so damn full of ourselves. But what if we can’t help it? What if we—due to the fact that WE are all we know‘have no choice’ but to perceive other species, our world and the broader universe as it RELATES to US—a mountain is ‘large’ because it is ‘bigger’ than US, an ant is ‘little’ because it is ‘smaller’ than US. Interestingly, it is this basic bigger-than/smaller-than concept that dictates how we FEEL about every goddamn (relative) thing around us, from the examples mentioned to the infinite vagaries of the infinite universe. Doesn’t matter the matter, we always start with 1.


Every time I watch Ancient Aliens I find myself pondering two things: does one have to go to school to become an ancient astronaut theorist and what the hell is up with ancient peoples and moving big-ass rocks around? Was it a way for them to stunt through the centuries like, “No matter how ‘advanced’ y’all get, you’ll never figure out how we moved big-ass rocks ridiculously long distances from their sources of origin and with laser-like precision cut them bitches into all sorts of symmetrical shapes.”

Check out this and this; two aural DeLoreans created by pretend time travelers. Oh, and this too.

Tricky Relativity

Whenever you wanna pretend like you’re a time traveler from the early 80s play this through some headphones while walking around a hyper modern city. Like one with a high volume of sharply-detailed moving images advertising an assortment of different life enhancements featuring meticulously coiffured beings that look very little like the creatures walking about you; the ones who are either contemplating the light that magically emanates from their palms or talking animatedly into the air as if they’re exalting personal gods.

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