The Hyperlinked Letter Unscramble Equation Game: German Edition

I would call it ‘HLUEG,’ but to pronounce that you would have to put yourself in a screwball make-believe scenario. That scenario—

You’re at a parade, your friend hands you a sandwich. You spot a float a little ways back and you say as you bite into the sandwich, type unknown, “Hey, isn’t that Huey Lewi—EGG?!” See, that’s way too much to suffer for the simplicity of an acronym so we’ll just call it the “Lingquation” game for now.

All right, let’s play the game. First the rules. Read the question. If the answer doesn’t jump out to you right away, extrapolate all of the hyperlinked letters—they form a word. Still stumped? Click on the hyperlinks for more clues. This first one is gonna be pretty easy. Remember, the answer is a German word.

Bullies in school used to tease Jonathan and tell him he had no ass. As a result he never sat down for fear people would laugh when he slid out of chairs. He even went so far as to not eat solid foods in order to prevent terminal constipation. What is Jonathan?

Here’s a tool that might come in handy.

Don’t forget to post your answers!